Weddings
The Wedding Service has so many possible options that it can be either confusing for couples to choose items or tempting for the clergy to make the choices for them!
We hope that this information will help you in choosing items for inclusion in your service that you want and that help you both express what you want to say on that day to one another, to your families and friends and, above all, to God.
Jack, our organist, is always ready to discuss the music for the service and to make suggestions should you so desire.
It is probably best to attend a Sunday service at St. George’s and talk to him ‘at the keyboard’ afterwards.
David, the rector, is only too willing to be of help and you can contact him at :-
The Deanery, Pontesbury,
Shropshire, SY5 0PS
01743-792221
Or you can use our e-mail contact.
If you have to attend church to qualify for the electoral roll – you will be sure to find a warm welcome.
We can provide organist, choir and bell ringers; and advice on photographers and florists.
Colour, music and the candle ceremony will hopefully make the day a memorable one for all concerned, and help us all catch a glimpse of the God who loves us more than we can begin to imagine.
Testimonial:
"We would like to send our heart felt thanks to you and church members who welcomed Mark and Emma into to your church. With extra special thanks to all those involved with their wedding on the 18th November we were overwhelmed with their support and generosity.
It truly was a wonderful wedding which we will always remember. The photos are on web site www.pwponline.co.uk (Weddings, then Emma Davies & Mark Sheehy)."
oooOooo
Residence and Electoral Roll Qualification
To be married in any parish church either the bride or the groom have to have a residence qualification. For most people this means that they live in the parish or their family home is here. i.e. parents, grand-parents or close family or friends live here and the couples can ’be married from that address’.
OR
One of you must be on the Church Electoral Roll. Applications received from those who ’habitually worship in the church’ are always granted. “Habitually worship” usually means coming to church at least once a month for a period of six months.
OR
Some people wishing to be married here are unable to fulfil either of the qualifications above. If this is your situation do not worry! Come and talk to the Rector who will be able to advise you how you can gain a residence qualification by staying in the parish under certain conditions.
OR
Have a civil ceremony, usually with bride, groom and a few witnesses followed by a European Wedding. Such services have the main elements of the wedding service save that there is no signing of registers as this will have already been done.
Divorced bride or groom
This is not usually a problem. We believe that God is all loving and is very much a God of second chances who wants to bless light out of darkness.
Cost
There are two sets of charges:
I. those set by the central church authorities as fees for the conducting of a wedding ceremony. These are set each January ... and
2. fees set by the local church for “extras” such as bells, choir, heating, verger etc. So it is hard to give a figure until we meet and discuss what you would like on your special day.
Ushers
You will need to have at least two ushers. They will be in church 60 min before the service starts, show people to their seats, and make sure all unused 'Orders of Service' and other things brought in for the wedding are removed when it is over. There is a bin near the west gate to the churchyard.
Position
Pontesbury is on the A488 Shrewsbury - Bishop’s Castle road about 6 miles south of Shrewsbury, and about 4 miles from Rowton Castle - as the crow flies! - it’s a little further round the lanes.
Flowers
Please pay specific and special attention to these regulations.
There are flowers in church for Sunday worship throughout the year, except in the seasons of Advent and Lent. So any plans which you might like to make have to be integrated with the plans that our flower arrangers have.
You have three options:-
- to do no additional flowers to those that will already be in church for the Sunday service. In this parish these are done to an exceptionally high standard, so it is an option worth considering.
- arrange for a florist or family members to provide and display flowers in the church. They would have to arrange access with the Rector , and convenient times for working in the church.
- to supplement the regular church flowers with ... e.g. pew end bouquets ...
Whatever you decide it is very important that the Rector knows what you are planning to do, so that the necessary alterations to the flower rota, that might be needed, can be made in good time. This information is needed 3 weeks before the wedding.
If you are planning more elaborate decorations than just flowers, please liase with the Rector. You will have to arrange to tidy up the church and remove such decorations.
Do not do anything, or use materials, that might damage the fabric of the church, e.g. the use of pins, nails or sticky tape is FORBIDDEN. AND please make sure your florist has this information. If you plan to have pew ends or garlands over doors please make sure your ushers remain behind and remove them after the ceremony. If you are uncertain about anything in this area please talk to the rector BEFORE you act.
Lent and Advent
These are times of penitence and preparation for Easter & Christmas and it is traditional for there to be no flowers in church for Sunday services. However this does not mean that you cannot have flowers for your wedding, but if your wedding is on a Sunday they will need to be put in place after the Sunday Service (storage of prepared flowers can be arranged in church and the place is usually clear of people by 12 noon). If your wedding is on a Saturday, or a weekday, the ushers should take them out of the church after the ceremony . Removing them to the reception could be a good option.
Advent begins on the fourth Sunday before Christmas and runs until Christmas Eve.
Lent runs from Ash Wednesday until Easter Saturday: (6th Feb. – 22nd Mar. 08 and 25th Feb. – 11th Apr. 09)
The Marriage Service
Please arrive on time, allowing time for photos, so that others involved in the service are not kept waiting.
Pastoral Introduction
This may be printed in your Order of Service to be read by those present before the ceremony begins.
A wedding is one of life’s great moments, a time of solemn commitment as well as good wishes, feasting and joy. St John tells us how Jesus shared in such an occasion at Cana, and gave there a sign of new beginnings as he turned water into wine.
Marriage is intended by God to be a creative relationship, as his blessing enables husband and wife to love and support each other in good times and in bad, and to share in the care and upbringing of children. For Christians, marriage is also an invitation to share life together in the spirit of Jesus Christ. It is based upon a solemn, public and life-long covenant between a man and a woman, declared and celebrated in the presence of God and before witnesses.
On this their wedding day the bride and bridegroom face each other, make their promises and receive God’s blessing. You are witnesses of the marriage, and express your support by your presence and your prayers. Your support does not end today: The couple will value continued encouragement in the days and years ahead of them.
The Welcome
The minister welcomes the people. This sentence may be used
God is love, and those who live in love live in God and God lives in them.
1 John 4.16
Hymn
[This will be the first of either two or three which you can choose for the service]
We have come together in the presence of God, to witness the marriage of N and N, to ask his blessing on them, and to share in their joy. Our Lord Jesus Christ was himself a guest at a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and through his Spirit he is with us now.
The Bible teaches us that marriage is a gift of God in creation and a means of his grace, a holy mystery in which man and woman become one flesh. It is God’s purpose that, as husband and wife give themselves to each other in love throughout their lives, they shall be united in that love as Christ is united with his Church.
Marriage is given, that husband and wife may comfort and help each other, living faithfully together in need and in plenty, in sorrow and in joy. It is given, that with delight and tenderness they may know each other in love, and, through the joy of their bodily union, may strengthen the union of their hearts and lives. It is given as the foundation of family life in which children may be born and nurtured in accordance with God’s will, to his praise and glory.
In marriage husband and wife belong to one another, and they begin a new life together in the community. It is a way of life that all should honour; and it must not be undertaken carelessly, lightly, or selfishly, but reverently, responsibly, and after serious thought.
This is the way of life, created and hallowed by God, that N and N are now to begin. They will each give their consent to the other; they will join hands and exchange solemn vows, and in token of this they will [each] give and receive a ring.
Therefore, on this their wedding day we pray with them, that, strengthened and guided by God, they may fulfil his purpose for the whole of their earthly life together.
The Declarations
The minister says to the congregation. First, I am required to ask anyone present who knows a reason why these persons may not lawfully marry, to declare it now.
The minister says to the couple. The vows you are about to take are to be made in the presence of God, who is judge of all and knows all the secrets of our hearts; therefore if either of you knows a reason why you may not lawfully marry, you must declare it now.
The minister says to the bridegroom N, will you take N to be your wife? Will you love her, comfort her, honour and protect her, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?
He answers I will.
The minister says to the bride, N will you take N to be your husband? Will you love him, comfort him, honour and protect him, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?
She answers I will.
The minister says to the congregation. Will you, the families and friends of N and N, support and uphold them in their marriage now and in the years to come?
All We will.
The Marriage
The couple stand before the minister.
Who brings this N to be married to N?
[choose whether you want the ‘giving away’ to be included or omitted]
The Vows
[you can repeat them after the priest, read them from a large print card held by him ... or learn them by heart - he will prompt you if you falter]
The minister introduces the vows
N and N, I now invite you to join hands and make your vows, in the presence of God and his people.
The bride and bridegroom face each other.
The bridegroom takes the bride’s right hand in his, and says:-
I, N, take you, N,
to be my wife,
to have and to hold
from this day forward;
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish,
till death us do part;
according to God’s holy law.
In the presence of God I make this vow.
They loose hands.
The bride takes the bridegroom’s right hand in hers, and says
I, N, take you, N,
to be my husband,
to have and to hold
from this day forward;
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish,
till death us do part;
according to God’s holy law.
In the presence of God I make this vow.
They loose hands.
The Giving of Rings
The minister receives the rings, and says Heavenly Father, by your blessing, let these rings be to N and N a symbol of unending love and faithfulness, to remind them of the vow and covenant which they have made this day through Jesus Christ our Lord.
All Amen.
The bridegroom places the ring on the fourth finger of the bride’s left hand and, holding it there, says
N, I give you this ring as a sign of our marriage.
With my body I honour you,
all that I am I give to you,
and all that I have I share with you,
within the love of God,
Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
They loose hands and the bride places a ring on the fourth finger of the bridegroom’s left hand and, holding it there, says
N, I give you this ring as a sign of our marriage.
With my body I honour you,
all that I am I give to you,
and all that I have I share with you,
within the love of God,
Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
The Proclamation
The minister addresses the people. In the presence of God, and before this congregation, N and N have given their consent and made their marriage vows to each other. They have declared their marriage by the joining of hands and by the giving and receiving of rings. I therefore proclaim that they are husband and wife.
They kneel and the priest joins their right hands together and says: Those whom God has joined together let no one put asunder.
The Blessing of the Marriage
All praise and blessing to you, God of love, for you have created courtship and marriage, joy and gladness, feasting and laughter, pleasure and delight.
May your blessing come in full upon N and N.
May they know your presence in their joys and in their sorrows.
May they reach old age in the company of friends, and come at last to your eternal kingdom, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
All Amen.
The minister says to the couple
God the Father,
God the Son,
God the Holy Spirit,
bless, preserve and keep you;
the Lord mercifully grant you the riches of his grace,
that you may please him both in body and soul,
and, living together in faith and love,
may receive the blessings of eternal life.
All Amen.
The couple stand and may embrace or kiss if they so desire. The congregation will be encouraged to clap.
The Candle Ceremony
Reading/s
[Choose a bible reading. There are some suggestions below. In addition, you can add another reading, from the bible or elsewhere, or a poem. Please ask for a book of suggestions if you want to think about this option but do not know what to choose.]
Short Address
Hymn – during which bride and groom follow the priest to the High Altar
[This will be the second hymn you have chosen whether you have chosen two or three hymns]
Prayers
[You can choose prayers listed below and/or choose prayers from elsewhere, or you can write your own.]
The prayers conclude with the Lord’s Prayer.
Either A:
All
Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our sins
as we forgive those who sin against us.
Lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from evil.
For the kingdom, the power,
and the glory are yours
now and for ever.
Amen.
OR B:
All
Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name;
thy kingdom come;
thy will be done;
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation;
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
the power and the glory,
for ever and ever.
Amen.
Blessing
Hymn
[This will be the third hymn if you have chosen three, otherwise no hymn is sung here and the registration follows the Blessing]
Registration
Registration of the Marriage [parents, best man and bridesmaids join us at the High Altar. You will need to decide which two people to ask to sign the registers as witnesses]
Possible Bible Readings
Psalm 23 Psalm 121 ,
Ruth,
Romans 8: 31-35, 37– 39
1 Corinthians 13
Ephesians 3: 14 –end
Colossians 3: 12—17
Matthew 5: 1– 10
John 2: 1– 11
John 15: 9-17
Sirach 6:5-18
.. or any others you may wish to choose
A selection of Prayers
A. Heavenly Father,
we thank you that in our earthly lives
you speak to us of your eternal life:
we pray that through their marriage
N and N may know you more clearly,
love you more dearly
and follow you more nearly,
day by day;
through Jesus Christ our Lord.
All Amen.
B. Heavenly Father,
maker of all things,
you enable us to share in your work of creation.
Bless this couple in the gift and care of children,
that their home may be a place of love, security and truth,
and their children grow up to know and love you in your Son
Jesus Christ our Lord.
All Amen.
C. Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ,
who shared at Nazareth the life of an earthly home:
reign in the home of these your servants as Lord and King;
give them grace to minister to others
as you have ministered to them,
and grant that by deed and word
they may be witnesses of your saving love
to those among whom they live;
for the sake of your holy name.
All Amen.
D. Faithful God,
holy and eternal,
source of life and spring of love,
we thank and praise you for bringing N and N to this day,
and we pray for them.
Lord of life and love:
All hear our prayer.
May their marriage be life-giving and life-long,
enriched by your presence and strengthened by your grace;
may they bring comfort and confidence to each other
in faithfulness and trust.
Lord of life and love:
All hear our prayer.
May the hospitality of their home
bring refreshment and joy to all around them;
may their love overflow to neighbours in need
and embrace those in distress.
Lord of life and love:
All hear our prayer.
May they discern in your word
order and purpose for their lives;
and may the power of your Holy Spirit
lead them in truth and defend them in adversity.
Lord of life and love:
All hear our prayer.
May they nurture their family with devotion,
see their children grow in body, mind and spirit
and come at last to the end of their lives
with hearts content and in joyful anticipation of heaven.
Lord of life and love:
All hear our prayer.
E. Almighty God,
look graciously on the world which you have made
and for which your Son gave his life.
Bless all whom you make one flesh in marriage.
May their life together be a sign of your love to this broken world,
so that unity may overcome estrangement,
forgiveness heal guilt, and joy overcome despair.
Lord, in your mercy
All hear our prayer.
May N and N so live together
that the strength of their love may reflect your love
and enrich our common life.
Lord, in your mercy
All hear our prayer.
May they be gentle and patient, ready to trust each other,
and, when they fail, willing to recognize and acknowledge their fault
and to give and receive forgiveness.
Lord, in your mercy
All hear our prayer.
[May N and N be blessed with the gift of children.
Fill them with wisdom and love as they care for their family.
Lord, in your mercy
All hear our prayer.]
May the lonely, the bereaved, and all who suffer want or anxiety,
be defended by you, O Lord.
Lord, in your mercy
All hear our prayer.
May those whose lives are today brought together
be given wisdom, patience and courage
to serve one another in Christ’s name.
Lord, in your mercy
All hear our prayer.
May friends and family gathered here,
and those separated by distance,
be strengthened and blessed this day.
Lord, in your mercy
All hear our prayer.
We praise you, merciful God,
for those who have died in the faith of Christ.
May we be strengthened by their example.
Almighty God, you have promised to hear our prayers.
All Grant that what we have asked in faith
we may by your grace receive,
through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
F. God of all grace,
friend and companion,
look in favour on N and N,
and all who are made one in marriage.
In your love deepen their love
and strengthen their wills
to keep the promises they have made,
that they may continue
in life-long faithfulness to each other;
through Jesus Christ our Lord.
All Amen.
G. Almighty God,
you send your Holy Spirit
to be the life and light of all your people.
Open the hearts of these your servants to the riches of his grace,
that they may bring forth the fruit of the Spirit
in love and joy and peace;
through Jesus Christ our Lord.
All Amen.
H. Faithful God,
giver of all good things,
give N and N wisdom and devotion
in the ordering of their life together.
May they dwell together in love and peace
all the days of their life,
seeking one another’s welfare,
bearing one another’s burdens,
and sharing one another’s joys;
through Jesus Christ our Lord.
All Amen.
I. Eternal God,
without your grace nothing is strong, nothing is sure.
Strengthen N and N with patience, kindness, gentleness,
and all other gifts of the Holy Spirit,
so that they may fulfil the vows they have made.
Keep them faithful to each other and to you.
Fill them with such love and joy
that they may build a home of peace and welcome.
Make their life together a sign of Christ’s love
in this broken world,
that unity may overcome estrangement,
forgiveness heal guilt,
and joy conquer despair;
through Jesus Christ our Lord.
All Amen.
J. God of all grace and goodness,
we thank you for this new family,
and for everything parents and children have to share;
by your Spirit of peace draw them together
and help them to be true friends to one another.
Let your love surround them
and your care protect them,
through Jesus Christ our Lord.
All Amen.
K. Loving God,
you are merciful and forgiving.
Grant that those who are suffering the hurts of the past
may experience your generous love.
Heal their memories, comfort them,
and send them all from here
renewed and hopeful;
in Jesus Christ our Lord.
All Amen.
L. God our creator,
we thank you for your gift of sexual love
by which husband and wife
may delight in each other
and share with you the joy of creating new life.
By your grace may N and N remain lovers,
rejoicing in your goodness all their days.
All Amen.
Some hymns you might like to consider
please ask to borrow copies of hymn books—the choice of hymns is yours but do remember that well known tunes make singing easier.
O praise ye the Lord
O Jesus I have promised
He who would valiant be
The Lord’s my shepherd
I danced in the morning
Immortal invisible
Come down O love divine
Tell out my soul
Lead us, heavenly Father lead us
Morning has broken
Make me a channel of your peace
O worship the king
King of glory, king of peace
A new commandment
Gracious Spirit Holy Ghost
Lord for the years
For the beauty of the earth
O perfect love all human love transcending
Sing Hosannah
Lord of all loving (to ‘Morning has broken’)
God is love (sing aloud loud loud)
O Lord all the world belongs to you
The King of love my shepherd is
Spirit of God as strong as the wind
Kum ba yah
You shall go out with joy
Bridegroom and bride ( to Slane)
Blessing the marriage ( to Sussex carol)
God beyond glory ( to Morning has broken)
Lord and lover of creation
Let all the world in every corner sing
Be thou my vision
Praise my soul the king of heaven
Now the green blade riseth
O love that wilt not let me go
Now thank we all our God
Lord of all hopefullness
Love divine
One more step along the world I go
O thou who camest from above
Guide me O thou great redeemer
Dear lord and Father of mankind
To God be the glory
Be still for the presence of the Lord
There’s a wideness in God’s mercy
O Lord my God when I in awesome wonder
When all thy mercies
Amazing grace
Great is thy faithfulness
Immortal love
Father I place into your hands
Teach me my God and king in all things thee to see
Spirit of the living God fall afresh on me
Rejoice the lord is king
O worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness
O the deep deep love of Jesus
O for a thousand tongues to sing
New every morning is the love
My song is love unknown
Shine Jesus, shine
Love is his word, love is his way
The perfect peace of God
Let us with a gladsome mind
Christ is the king, O friends rejoice
Jesus shall reign where’er the sun
In heavenly love abiding
It is VITAL that you contact the organist, Jack Cornall, in good time before the wedding to discuss the music you want to have. There will be the opportunity to meet Jack after a Sunday service and he can help you in making your choice. Please be in touch with him at least two months before the ceremony.
There may be other things that you wish to consider as part of the service e.g. having Communion, a soloist, string quartet, a steel band, a friend or relative taking part, reception in church or even Morris Dancers – yes we have had them in the past! Whatever your ideas please do not be afraid to discuss them with the rector and we will do our best to include them, after all it is your wedding!
© David Hewlett Trinity 2004 |
