St George's, Pontesbury

St. George's Church, Pontesbury,
Shropshire, England

Funerals

Whatever the circumstances a death in the family is a traumatic and sad experience for all concerned.

We, at St. George’s, will do all we can to support families through this time when they are forced to make plans often quite quickly, and when they are not in the best frame of mind for decision making.

It is hoped that the following will be helpful, but always talk to David, the rector. Your specific wishes can usually be accommodated.

1. It is really helpful to families if the deceased has thought about how they would like their funeral to be conducted and left these requests with a family member. David, the rector, is always ready to help people should they wish to make such plans.

2. Take time to think about what you want to be included in the service.

There are hymns - usually two or three.
There are readings - one bible and anything else the family might like.

There are books available from David which contain readings and hymns suggestions. It is probably better to consider these choices carefully, rather than go for “the usual hymns”.

there is music, perhaps you would like the organist to play specific pieces at the beginning and end of the service, or you might like to play recorded music.
members of the family might like to take part, perhaps reading, talking about the deceased or playing music.
you might wish there to be some symbolic element to the service: e.g. Royal British Legion Standard; placing flowers on the coffin during the service, lighting candles. (Back to top)

3. A small cross with the deceased’s name on it will be placed in The Lady Chapel either during the service in church, or the day after a crematorium service.

This acts as a constant reminder for family and friends that none of us is separated from God’s love, not even by death. Crosses are given to families at the annual Memorial Service.

4. ”Where can the service be held? Will people stay behind if we have a cremation following a church service?” are two often asked questions.

There are a number of options:-

church service followed by cremation in Shrewsbury .
church service followed by burial in the village cemetery.
cremation followed by a church service.
cremation with a church service the following day after which the ashes are buried in the cemetery
crematorium service, with ashes scattered later at the crematorium, or scattered by the family in an appropriate spot, or buried at a later date in the cemetery, (either in a family grave or in the Garden of Remembrance ).
private cremation with a Memorial Service in church at a later date.

If a church service is to be held, some families like the coffin to be at rest in church overnight.

Flowers and wreaths can be laid in one of the chapels in church rather than leaving them at the crematorium.

5. Immediately after the service, the rector or a member of the visiting team will call to deliver any cards that have been left in church and bring details of any donations that have been collected. Families may ask for donations to specific charities of their choice. The money collected in church has, by law, to go through the church books, but all money placed on the ‘Donations Plate’ will be sent to the charity in question, and written details will be given to the family at this first visit.

The treasurer keeps the account open for a few days, as there are often late additional donations. He will ask the charity to send the receipt directly to the family. To check the progress of any donations please contact Gerald Worrall, the treasurer, on our contacts page. Click on Treasurer.

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6. Sometimes families like to buy specific things in memory that can be kept in the village by being used in church. If this is your wish please talk to David, the rector, who has an ongoing list of suggestions.

7. Families should not be afraid to suggest unusual things that might be appropriate to their loved one. We had a funeral procession recently that was led by the deceased’s JCB digger; the funeral of a child might include a Moses basket and the reading of a “Good night” story; one lady in Bristol placed her husband’s ashes in their garden wall, another under the bird bath. If you wish to use ‘green’ coffins you should discuss this with the funeral directors.

David, the rector, has a book, called “Time to Go - Alternative Funerals”, that people are free to borrow.

8. Annual Memorial Service

Each year at All Saints tide - early November - a service is held to which all those who have lost loved ones in the past year are invited. The service is simple, it includes the lighting of candles by all present and the placing of children’s drawings etc. on the altar. The crosses from The Lady Chapel are made available to families. Afterwards there is tea.

Last year’s service (2007) was on Sunday. November 4th at 3:30 pm.
This year's service is not yet fixed, but will be advertised when known

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The Cemetery

We are fortunate to have a village cemetery. It includes a garden of Rest for the burial of cremated remains and a memorial wall on which the names of anyone, whether buried in Pontesbury or not, can be placed.

The Pontesbury Cemetery Committee acting on behalf of the Parochial Church Council manages the new cemetery extension which was consecrated for the burial of ashes and interment in the early 1980s.

The Committee are responsible to St George's Church and the Diocese to ensure that the churchyard rules are adhered to by all those who have next of kin in the cemetery extension.

It is very important that the regulations governing the cemetery are observed by everyone so that the place can be managed and kept tidy. They are set out below.

Please do not make decisions about your loved one’s grave until you have read them fully as putting right mistakes at a later date can be very stressful and upsetting.

DIOCESE OF HEREFORD

Churchyard Memorial Regulations (revised 1 ix 1994)

(Notes in italics are by way of explanation, introduction or refer to local practice)

Pontesbury cemetery is the responsibility of the Parochial Church Council. Its sub-committee, The Cemetery Committee, has exercised oversight of the new part of the cemetery since its inception. However the regulations of the diocese apply to the whole cemetery.
Permission to bury is given on the payment of the appropriate fee and on the understanding that these regulations will be abided by.
Permission to bury does NOT mean that the grave is owned by the family of the deceased.
The regulations are drawn up by The Chancellor of the Diocese ,who is a High Court Judge. He presides over the Consistory Court of the diocese.
Few matters are dealt with directly by the Consistory Court , The Chancellor delegates his authority to the Archdeacon of Ludlow and to The Rector of Pontesbury, who make most decisions locally.
The regulations attempt to take into consideration the wishes of all those who have relatives buried in the cemetery, this means all are expected to abide by them for the good of everyone concerned. (Back to top)

The Regulations

Preamble

Our churchyards (and cemeteries) are part of our Christian heritage and faith, and we need to do our best to look after them and embellish them to the Glory of God. Modern techniques present new possibilities but also new threats to this heritage. These regulations are intended to encourage good practices and to curb bad ones. (They form part 4 of the full statement of REGULATIONS RELATING TO CHURCHYARDS).

The parish priest has authority, at his/her discretion, to allow memorials to be introduced provided that they comply with these regulations. S/he may consult with the Diocesan Advisory Committee or the Chancellor. Any departure from the Regulations requires permission under the Discretionary Procedure set out below.
All work shall also comply with the Code of Working Practice of the National Association of Monumental Masons insofar as it is compatible with these Regulations.
The design of gravestones and the wording and lettering of the inscription on them must in every case be submitted in the prescribed form for prior approval to the Parish Priest, either by those wishing to introduce the memorial or by the stone mason. The prescribed form may be obtained from the Parish Priest .
Headstones, crosses or ledges only may be introduced and must be of traditional shape and simple In design. For permitted dimensions see Appendix below.
A flower vase may be Incorporated in the base of headstones or crosses, but separate vases must not be placed elsewhere in the grave space, except where it is contemplated that no headstone, cross or other memorial will be erected, in which case a fixed vase in permitted material not more than 12 inches x 8 inches or 300mm x 200mm with a memorial inscription may be placed In the approximate position where the headstone would have been had there been one.
Raised curbs, railings, plain or coloured chippings or stones in the shape of hearts, figures open books or bird baths etc. are not permitted. Photographs and other mementos similarly are not permitted.
A small mound of earth may be left immediately after the internment. Twelve months after this, the grass should be levelled with the surrounding turf and kept level and grassed over to permit mowing.
Artificial flowers are inappropriate in churchyards and are not permitted-but Remembrance Day poppies and Christmas wreaths may be placed on graves.
Natural materials only should be used preferably those which are traditionally used in local buildings e.g. stone, slate, oak or teak. The materials selected should be in sympathy with the colour and texture of the church fabric and any adjacent buildings and walls.
In any individual churchyard or cemetery, the parish priest has authority, at his/her discretion, to allow those among the types of stone listed below which he/she considers comply with the regulations The examples given are of stones known to be in regular use and do not exclude other within each type:-
Sandstones, e.g. Forest of Dean , York
Slates, e.g. Welsh, Cumbrian
Granites subject to the restrictions set out below: (Back to top)

Granites may be grey or red and shall be no lighter than honed Cornish and no darker than honed Rustenburg Grey. The finish shall be non-reflective.

For other types, colours or finishes of stone permission must be sought through the Discretionary Procedure regulations (13). For permitted materials other than stone see Regulation 9.

It is very important to choose memorials carefully. If there is doubt as to whether the choice infringes the Regulations, please consult the rector.

11. Dedications should be simple, reverent and appropriate and the engraving should harmonise with the selected material. Inscriptions should be incised or in relief and my be painted. Flush or raised lead is also permitted. Plastic or other applied lettering is not permitted. Hand-cut lettering is preferred. The name only of a mason or firm may be inscribed low down at the side or on the reverse of a headstone or cross in unpainted and unleaded letters not more than half an inch or 15mm in height.

12. Except as otherwise provided for in this Regulation cremated remain may only be buried in a part of the churchyard or cemetery, set aside for the burial of cremated remains.

Nothing in this Regulation prohibits, in appropriate circumstances, the burial of cremated remains in an existing grave with the consent of the Parish Priest.
No memorial stones are permitted in respect of any cremated remains unless they are buried in an existing grave.
Names of those whose cremated remains are buried in the cemetery can be added to the wall of remembrance. See rector for the appropriate form.

13. Proposals which fall outside the foregoing Regulations may be put forward for consideration under the Discretionary Procedure which is intended to provide for:-

Individually designed memorials with interesting features and texts.
People are encouraged to see a memorial as an opportunity to make a real contribution in keeping with that which the deceased has made to the local community;
A stone which is not normally permitted but may be suited to a particular church , churchyard or cemetery;
A stone which is not normally permitted but which is to be placed in a burial ground which may be at some distance from the church itself. (Back to top)

The Discretionary Procedure is as follows:

(a) The Parish Priest asks the proposer to complete the standard Diocese of Hereford Application for permission to erect a memorial in a churchyard or cemetery, stressing the importance of the drawing and the inscription of the memorial.

(b) The Parish Priest sends this Application to the Diocesan Advisory Committee asking it to advise the Archdeacon on the proposals.

Appendix to regulation 4 above:-

Headstones must not exceed 4’ or 1200mm in height (measured from ground level), 3’ or 900mm in width and 6” or 150mm in thickness. However if slate is used the headstones may be thinner but must not be less than 2”, 50mm, thick. Headstones may be of three types:-
So shaped that they can be inserted directly into the ground with sufficient depth to ensure stability.
On an integral base not more than 3’ or 900mm wide or projecting more than 4” or 100mm in any direction and not more than 9” or 225mm high;
On a vase base not more than 3’ or 900mm wide or projecting 7” or 175mm in front of the headstone, or more than 4” or 100mm high. The base must not be more than 1’3” or 375mm overall from front to back.
The height of a cross (measured from ground level) must not exceed 5’ or 1500mm nor be less than 3’ or 900mm, the respective thickness of the shafts and arms (measured from front to back) being 6” or 150mm and 4” or 100mm.
No cross shall stand on more than two steps. The step, or lower of the two steps, shall measure no more than 3’ or 900mm in width and 1’3” or 375mm from front to back, and no less than 2’ or 600mm width and 1’ or 300mm from front to back.
The steps may be replaced by a die or boulder but the above measurements shown for the steps still apply.
Ledges must not exceed 7’ or 2100mm in length and 3’ or 900mm in width.
So far as adjacent ground levels reasonably permit, the foundation of a headstone or cross and the whole of a ledge shall be at or below the surface of the ground so that a mower may pass freely over it.

(Note - the metric alternatives given in these regulations are those recommended for use by the National Association of memorial Masons. They are generally slightly less than the corresponding imperial dimensions)

The nave prepared for a funeral

St. George's Church, Pontesbury, Shropshire, England