April 2009
The way children develop behaviour patterns has always been of interest to me. When I was studying Education I was often involved in animated discussion about the effects of nature versus nurture in child development. As has been proved, many facets of a person’s character can be laid at the door of ancestors but much can be achieved through the way a child is nurtured. Observing Little Dragons it is interesting to consider characteristics and to wonder whether they are a direct result of nature or nurture.
Sometimes in our lives we meet people or encounter circumstances when we may feel we are being unfairly treated or misjudged. We may find because of our inherent ‘nature’ or maybe because of the way we were nurtured we have difficulty in solving what can seem to be a huge problem. We can get extremely hot under the collar if we feel that our purpose and meaning is being misinterpreted and sometimes find it difficult to communicate in a good way in order to alleviate the problem, calm ruffled feathers and find a way ahead in relationships.
I well remember reading, when young, ‘The Water Babies’ by Charles Kingsley and wishing that I could meet the two fearsome ladies, MrsDoAsYouWouldBeDoneBy and MrsBeDoneByAsYouDid. As I have grown older I have realised the truth of the sentiments illustrated by the two names. The names of the two ladies give us a clue as to how we can manage situations where everything seems hopeless, when communication seems to have been lost. If we can ‘Do As We Would Be Done By’ rather than ‘Do As We Feel That Someone Did To Us’ then we perhaps stand a chance of salvaging a situation which may seem impossible – and what a relief. Sometimes, in order to solve a problem and replenish a relationship, we may have to overcome aspects of our own inherent and nurtured habits, and this can be hard. However, if we take into account all the clichés that we have maybe suffered during our young life – stiff upper lip, every cloud has a silver lining, never let the sun go down on your anger – and the like, we can overcome as long as there is determination plus a modicum of humility.
At Little Dragons, however hard it may have been to tell the story if our sweet, sweet little ones all decide to have a noisy, squeaky Circle Time, we always finish our morning by holding hands and saying a big, ‘Thank you because we are glad to be together!’ This is a simplistic philosophy, but one that can be useful for any who may be struggling with relationships or finding it hard to bridge a gap for whatever reason. If you hold your hand out to a Little Dragon, he or she will usually grasp it. It’s easy really and it works with all ages.
Honestly! Try it!
Val Butterworth